obsessive minutiae: StubHub NHL team descriptions edition

(this is a new "ongoing series" though I don't know what'll be next in it). so, I've only had to buy a hockey ticket from StubHub once, when I couldn't get a TicketExchange one for a Blackhawks game that happened to be the one-year anniversary (within a day) of my first hockey/Blackhawks game ever. I had to go to a separate pickup location before the game on a brutal January day, and pay more fees than Exchange. but I do check there often just in case, not just for Hawks but for other cities I'd wanted to see hockey in.

I was amused by the Blackhawks description, something like "Come see Toews and Kane lead the team to victory!" ...but then they dumped it for a more generic one. and I noticed the Buffalo Sabres one was kind of bad, too. then...I started looking at many more of them just for fun. for the most part these are so awful they're funny (at least to me). I pity whoever had to write these...but they're not even trying. if you're going to mention player names (Capitals does, but, get this, Penguins doesn't) why not spice it up a little with "Come see Daniel Carcillo get a well-deserved beating!" or for bottom-dwelling teams "Uh, well technically it's a hockey team, and uh, you like hockey, right?" anyway, I checked them all. I know I really only have to post a few for you to get the idea, but for the full deadening effect, here are ALL 30 listings (alphabetical by team name, not city name), each in more or less the appropriate team colors:

okay, the Hurricanes, Lightning, and Stars ones amused me the most, as did the egregious misspelling you may have seen twice, and the Wild's description, which sounds like it's really selling the chance to see the opposing teams!

(the Sabres one looks different because their ticket site through NHL.com isn't TicketMaster and TicketExchange--I have no idea why they use a different company.)


Aubrey said...

"Come see our team maybe not lose very much! Watch as they attempt to hat trick their way past the opposition! They aren't actually trying to finish last, it just seems like it!"

Is someone honestly getting paid for this? At least the Bruins' description shows a basic grasp of the team and hockey in general. It may be a tad bit optimistic, but it sounds more exciting (and therefore more deserving of my money) than any of the rest of them.

the mel said...

Lord Stanly is rolling in his grave.