how Victoria's Secret RUINED hockey for Chicago men (apparently)

it's time I warned you: this is a sports blog written by a woman, and as a ladyblogger who sometimes likes men, sometimes I might imply that some hockey players are somewhat attractive. CALM DOWN, I think you can handle this. unless you're a guy on the Blackhawks' Facebook page. when the site posted items about voting for Patrick Sharp in Victoria's Secret's "What's Sexy Now Chicago" contest (held in conjunction with the relocation of their flagship store on Michigan Avenue--oh damn, I just gave them even more free publicity), some first comments from men:

"uh no thanks. lol" "What? No real Blackhawks updates?" "This is hockey, not a fashion show ladies. We want a Stanley Cup, not pretty-boys!!!" (aw, can't we have both?) "who gives a rats ass about the sexiest athlete!!!! we want the Stanley Cup!! forget this BS !!! its HOCKEY not some fag sport!"

OH NOOOOO THIS RUINS HOCKEY AND GETS IN THE WAY OF OUR STANLEY CUP CHANCES AND BEING ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN IS...GAY...


yes, it was silly, and not "real" news about the team, and I could easily summon up a rant about how a contest like this is all about consumerism and advertising and beauty standards and whatnot, but c'mon--this is publicity for hockey! as I've complained before and no doubt will again many times, every minor little thing the Bears and Cubs do or say is news for days, yet the Blackhawks, who as of today have the longest winning streak in the NHL and are #2 in the league, don't get in-depth coverage.

it could bring new fans to the game (not that the Hawks have trouble filling up the United Center). if they notice the sexiness first then get into the game itself, I don't mind (as long as they sit down during games and don't yell anything stupid, I don't really care who's at the UC. not all of us can brag about how we grew up hockey fans, you know...especially those of us who grew up in the middle of Iowa...)

if a guy doesn't want this to show up in his browser history or have someone see it over his shoulder at work--fine. but if a straight guy can handle the oppressive chore of having to go to the Victoria's Secret website, and figure out the scroll bar on the contest page (it took me a few tries; the design could be better), he could vote Sharp for sexiest athlete (Brian Urlacher and Derrick Rose were the other choices, btw) and Blackhawks for sexiest team. then click the "no homo" button, so people know you're just doing this to promote hockey.

seriously, it doesn't affect the sport and it doesn't affect the Stanley Cup chances (given how many things over the course of 48 years have messed that up...). it doesn't affect your masculinity to acknowledge there are people who find hockey players--including Blackhawks!--attractive. hey, the Hawks blog Hockeenight posted an item about the contest, and that's undeniably a manly hockey blog with swearing and fight videos and whatnot.

now, I'll keep you updated on this story, but posting sexy photos and writing up fake dates with hockey players and discussing crushes isn't really my thing so there won't be much of it here (I enjoy all this stuff on other blogs, however). but I will leave you with an item, about the Bruins @ Blues game Monday I was already sad about missing in person and missing online. from Fire Wagon Hockey:

"Milan Lucic deflected the GWG into the net with his crotch. Now there's a SLIM possibility it grazed his hip on the way in but I am prrrrrrrrrrrretty sure it grazed his jock and changed direction."

"Lucic," "goal," and "crotch" all in the same sentence...I hope you will understand the truly heroic restraint I am showing by not making any kind of followup comment to that. dammit...

3 comments:

Aubrey said...

BEING ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN IS...GAY...

LMAO! Seriously, well said. Guys drool all over the ice girls and that's fine, but God forbid anyone mention that a player is less than hideous. I swear female fans of other sports do not take near the crap that female hockey fans get.

P.S. Thanks for linking me (Deadly Nuts). I'll be sure to do the same for you after the holiday weekend :)

hockeygonewild said...

The words "heroic restraint" do not appear in my vocabulary...

So Looch put one in off his junk, did he? Right through the five hole? Did he have his stick up when it happened? I swear all you ladies want to talk about is the curve on a man's blade. I mean, it's not like we guys pay any attention to the firm buttocked skating styles of the Ice Girls when they skate out between periods at the Garden, right?

Okay, enough. I think I'm going to innuendo hell now and I don't want to drag anyone else down with me.

k of c said...

Thanks for comments! Believe me, both Ice Girls and innuendo will be recurring topics, but I'll try to be a little more...serious for a few days. Actually, the fact that I don't pretend to be a "serious" blog means I thankfully didn't have to say anything about the recent "intent to blow" controversies...